“This isn’t the America I wanted,” Hanks stated in a teary-eyed Instagram video, sitting on what appeared to be a replica of the bench from Forrest Gump. “I’ve played heroes, explorers, and even captains, but I can’t captain this sinking ship anymore.”

Hanks was a frontrunner in this year’s Oscars race, with nominations for A Better Tomorrow, A Kind Nation, and The Last Good Man. Yet, in an unprecedented move, the actor personally requested that the Academy withdraw his nominations, calling the awards “meaningless in a country that has lost its way.”

The Academy, blindsided by Hanks’ decision, released a brief statement. “Tom Hanks has always been a pillar of integrity in the entertainment industry. While we regret his decision, we respect his stance.”

Hollywood insiders are calling Hanks’ departure the ultimate wake-up call. Long regarded as the moral compass of Tinseltown, Hanks’ exit underscores the growing unease many feel about the current state of American politics.

“If Tom Hanks doesn’t believe in America anymore, then what chance do the rest of us have?” tweeted actress Kerry Washington. “This is a national tragedy.”

Director Steven Spielberg, a longtime collaborator and close friend, called Hanks’ decision “heartbreaking but understandable.” “Tom is the soul of this industry and, in many ways, this country,” Spielberg said in a press release. “His absence will leave a void that cannot be filled.”

Hanks’ announcement has divided fans and sparked a cultural uproar. Social media exploded with hashtags like #BringBackTom and #AmericaLostHanks.

“I can’t believe Tom Hanks is leaving,” wrote one fan on Twitter. “This feels worse than when Toy Story 3 almost made me cry in public.”

Others, however, weren’t as sympathetic. “Another Hollywood elite throwing a tantrum because their guy didn’t win,” posted one critic. “Don’t let the door hit you, Tom.”

As expected, Donald Trump wasted no time addressing Hanks’ exit during a rally in Texas.

“Tom Hanks? Overrated,” Trump declared to thunderous applause. “He’s just mad because people voted for me, not his Hollywood friends. Maybe he should stick to playing make-believe.”

Trump also joked, “Hanks leaving is the best thing to happen to America since I started The Apprentice. Let him go! Greece can have him.”

Hanks and his wife, actress Rita Wilson, confirmed they will be relocating to Greece, a country the couple has often referred to as their “second home.” Hanks, who was granted honorary Greek citizenship in 2020, said the decision to move was an easy one.

“Greece understands democracy. It’s where it all began,” Hanks said in his Instagram video. “I’d rather live in a place that values history and progress than one that’s regressing into chaos.”

Wilson echoed the sentiment, stating, “We’ll always love America, but sometimes love means knowing when to let go.”

Hanks’ decision has fueled rumors of a growing celebrity exodus. Insiders suggest that Robert De Niro and Meryl Streep are also considering leaving the country. “Tom leaving might be the tipping point,” one source said. “If he’s out, who’s staying?”

The speculation has sparked panic among film studios, with producers scrambling to finalize deals with stars who may be contemplating a similar move.

For Hanks, the decision to withdraw from the Oscars and leave America is deeply symbolic. “I’ve always believed in the power of storytelling to inspire change,” Hanks said. “But when the real story of America is so disheartening, I can’t keep pretending on screen that everything is okay.”

He specifically mentioned his roles in Saving Private Ryan and Apollo 13 as examples of the America he once believed in—an America of courage, unity, and resilience. “That America feels like a distant memory,” he said.

While Hanks’ departure is a blow to Hollywood, the actor made it clear he has no plans to retire. He hinted at future projects focusing on global issues and themes of human resilience.

“I’ll keep telling stories,” Hanks said. “But from now on, they’ll be stories that transcend borders, because I can’t be confined by a country that no longer reflects the values I hold dear.”

Hanks’ exit has ignited a national conversation about what his departure means for America. Many see it as a wake-up call, a sign that even the most hopeful and patriotic among us are losing faith.

“Tom Hanks leaving is a metaphor for everything that’s wrong with America right now,” said cultural critic Dr. Emily Lang. “If we can’t keep Tom, who can we keep?”

Others, however, see his departure as an opportunity for reflection. “Maybe this is what we need to start asking the hard questions,” one commentator said.

As Hanks prepares to leave, he offered a parting message to his fans: “This isn’t goodbye forever. It’s just goodbye for now. I hope one day I can return to an America that feels like home again. Until then, take care of each other. We’re all we’ve got.”

With that, America’s Dad signed off, leaving a nation to wonder how it will ever fill the void left by one of its most cherished icons. As one fan poignantly put it, “If Tom Hanks can’t save us, maybe we need to save ourselves.”

NOTE: This is SATIRE, It’s Not True.